“What is your problem!” - How to demonstrate respect during challenging times
Respect amongst people at work shapes how organisations function and how employees thrive. Experiencing disrespect at work reduces your capacity to effectively problem solve & think clearly in the moment, lessens your experience of feeling heard and valued and increases burnout.
Disrespect just makes you want to quit.
Stronger workgroup cultures increase both productivity and wellbeing.
What we know from the research is that when times are stressful at work and people are under increased pressure and strain, one of the first things to disappear is politeness. People become more direct with each other, shorter, sharper, less considerate…..when we experience this we tend to respond in kind, we reciprocate, rude begets rude and the slippery slope of disrespect begins, this is another kind of virus that spreads quickly.
What is disrespect?
Disrespect takes many forms and includes being curt, demanding, mild insults, rejection, teasing, gossiping, rolling eyes, sighing, whispering behind your hands, off jokes, ignoring and excluding others. Sometimes people do not intend to be rude, but often, particularly when under pressure, they act in a thoughtless, inconsiderate manner.
You have the power to increase the experience of respect for yourself and others in the day to day.
Your capacity to improve your experience at work rests on your ability to a) increase the respectful interactions that you have with others in the day to day and b) overcome the natural impulse to respond in kind to bad action.
What is respect?
Respect has four components, known as the “4 Respect A’s”:
Acknowledging – saying or doing something that recognises another person’s presence. It could be as simple as smiling or wishing a good morning
Accepting – Explicitly or implicitly welcoming a person into your conversation, group, or project
Accommodating – Modifying your activities or space in ways that helps another person participate or to work more comfortably or effectively
Appreciating – Expressing thanks for another person’s contribution or expressing admiration for the quality of that contribution
What can you do?
Look at ways in which you can demonstrate one or more of the 4 A’s of respect in your day to day when interacting with your colleagues, watch what happens…..they are likely to smile, thank you, feel valued and appreciated and energised. What’s more, they are likely to then be kinder to their fellow teammates, patients and their families.
Stop and pause before you react to rudeness, think - can I respond in a way that is more helpful to me and them? Remember that everyone is in this together and trying to do a good job. Remind yourself that often it is not someone’s intent to be rude…extend a spirit of generosity and forgo the opportunity to be rude in return.
Kindness costs you nothing and buys you everything Remember that being kind and pausing for a few seconds to say welcome, hello, thankyou, or good job can have a big impact on someone day and costs you nothing….